To my dad and everyone elses' dads.  uvu

*walks casually into journal and---*

So I watched most of the livestream of E3 with Devin yesterday and today,

and I have to tell you


I'm going to be so fucking broke this year.


But only because of Sony and Nintendo.  

Microsoft is a fucking joke right now.



But seriously, Pokemon X and Y, The Last of Us, KH3 and the 1.5 HD REmix, Shovel Knight, Zelda: Wind Waker HD, Watch Dogs, Transistor, Tales of Xillia, Beyond Two Souls, FFXV, Super Smash Bros., Bayonetta 2, The Wonderful 101, the Zelda LTTP 3DS thing, and that Xenoblade game?

I mean really.  I will sell my body for that shit.

(btw probably missing some great games I forgot to list but yeah.)

_{I JUST NEED TO GET THE DAMN CONSOLES FIRST.  AJSHGDFBAJHBG;;;;}


Anyway, woohoo to the Fairy-type confirmation, and also the two cute new pokes, Noivern and Vivillon.  Perf cuties.

Also, the Destiny game is literally Halo with a new look and on the PS4.  Seriously.

Real talk, though, don't buy the XboxOne, Microsoft will screw your ass over and make you pay a buttload of money for shit you shouldn't have to pay for.  That DRM shit is totally dumb, save yourself the pain and buy the PS4 or WiiU if you want an HD console.  


In other news, I'm going to be returning to NC on Friday, so that means I'll be working on commissions soon.  I won't be starting back on them right away, since I haven't drawn literally in weeks and I'm pretty rusty, but I also want to spend time with my family.  

Also, I'm going to be moving into my new house soon, so I'll be busy moving and painting my room and decorating, so WHEEEEE NO MORE DINING ROOM.

So yeah.

tl;dr:  E3 was great, most of the games are nice and I want them, Microsoft sucks, commissions won't be started right away once I return to NC in a couple of days, and I'm moving.

How are you guys, though?  c:  I miss you, I haven't been on here in forever, I think I'm going through withdrawal.  ;-;    TELL ME THE GAMES YOU WANT SCREECHES.  <3

And also show me your new characters that I might have missed if you made any.  Your guys' characters are nice.

okay ill go now

~Rev.

YEAH.  I'm uh---

I'M NOT DEAD.  

I've been spending quality time with people, like Devin, LadyNecro, and Vannah-Face.

And I will continue to do it too, AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

Still sorry for not being very active at all, although I do occasionally come on and comment on some of the things people have uploaded.

Otherwise, I've been on deviantart and not much else.  

Only been on skype a couple of times since I've been down to talk to a couple of people about "important matters," so no one can come up to me and say "I CAN'T CONTACT YOU, WHY?"

Also, I haven't been drawing a lot for the past while, but I'm trying to get back into it slowly with doodles.  This time, (NO JOKE, I SWEAR), I think I've figured out a fursona design, eeeeheheheh.

Because everyone knows I'm picky and only like certain designs, tee hee  

Might even have the whole "two sonas" thing because I consider my boyfriend a part of me and he and I just work together, and I love him, he's seriously my best friend, SO HE GETS ONE TOO.  

Y'know how the Pokemon Dialga has Time and Palkia has Space?  

Yeah.  Gonna go with that Space and Time theme with these two.


Anyway, my commissioners are probably fidgeting for me to continue with my commissions, and I will apologize up front for this, but as of today

COMMISSIONS WILL BE ON HOLD UNTIL I RETURN TO NC.

I may change my mind, but while I'm here, I am getting certain things done as well as spending time with people I haven't seen in a while, and I think that I have that freedom away from my art to do so.  

Except with the fursonas.  I have an idea for them and I do NOT want to lose it, so you may or may not see them relatively soon.

Other than all that, thanks for reading, I hope you guys are having a good time in your lives and everyone is swell, and you're all finishing school soon.

Because you guys need summer vacation.


.....

Actually, no, I hope you're in school for a few days yet so I can go to the beach for at least one day without a bunch of teenagers being there.


Or maybe not.  I don't like sunburns.  And I burn a lot, wheeee.

Kay bye.


~Rev.

I've been with Devin for the past few days, and I've not had internet, hahaha.  xD  

I couldn't even check messages, so I had a whopping 6k+ notifications.  :'I  So I pretty much cleared out everything without looking at it, so---

YEAH.  IF YOU HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY, MY APOLOGIES.


Yeah, plus I just had my 2-year dating anniversary thing on Sunday, so even if I did have internet, I probably wouldn't have looked at it anyway.

Sorry, guys, but my head works like "boyfriend > art/internet" any day of the week.  <3333

Also, I'm going to be catching up with a few friends while I'm here, (pretty sure I mentioned that I my last journal?).  So I'm going to be busy catching up on my "Florida life" a bit when I'm here.

I just got back today to a place with internet, but I don't know when I'm leaving again, so I guess I just came on to ask how you guys were?  


good lord, this place is like a sauna.  I'm hating it.

~Rev.

Going to be flying down to Florida tomorrow, flight won't get in until around 10 pm.  Was going to attempt finishing some commissions before I left, but I might spend the day packing and spending time with my family.  

Since I'll be flying alone.  Huzzah.

May not get much art done while I'm there.  And I'll be releasing some adoptables soon.  

I was going to be using the points for a PM, but sOME PEOPLE, LIKE AND ARE TOO NICE AND GOT ME ONE EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T NEED IT AND COULD DO IT MYSELF, THEY'RE PRECIOUS, THEY NEED ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD.

Speaking of adoptables, they will be released on my new adoptable account!:  

So if you guys want to watch that account for my adoptables, go right ahead.  <3

Mordeo is going to be my little mascot over there.  <3


Anyway, commissions might be slow, as well as art.  Going to try and finish some of them while I'm down there, but I don't know how well that will work out.  

So apologies in advance for my commissioners and watchers, maybe go watch my adoptable account, and hope you all have a wonderful weekend!  <3

I know I will, I missed my boy and LadyNecro.  ;v;  <33

~Rev.

I liked this idea.  SO HERE WE GOOOOO.

-> For each of the first 20 people to comment to this journal, I will feature one of their characters. I'll also tell you what I like about them. (Links to a folder of your OCs would be much appreciated!)

-> If you comment, please do the same in your journal, putting the tagger on in the first slot. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone!

1.  *Winterfaux's characters are so cute, ugh.  Those fur patterns are to die for.  But oh my god, Radio is just--- FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF :
I love Ausies and she's just a cutieeee! <3  Love her fishy fur patterns, ugh.  ;-;

2.  Okay, =lemonnom's ocs are absolutely gorgeous, and her designs make me cry rainbow tears of joy, but there's just something about both Nami and Tao(?) that I harbor intense love for:  
I mean look at them; cute ass fox couple with yin and yang necklaces, I mean freal.

3.  I like a lot of  *Lieutenant-Calla's ocs because of their mostly natural colors and patterns.  They're just so nice.  ;A;  But Jev is just wonderful:  I love his face.  And seriously, colors that are like fire colors attract me because warm colors are really nice.  He's just really cute, too.  uvu

4.  *The-Midnight-Widow's ocs are certainly interesting and BRIGHTLY COLORED.  But I like her fursona!:    Even though it has bright colors, it actually works together well, and the stitches on her mouth are cool.  c:

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.


~Rev.

Okay, so my PM expires in literally a few days, which I didn't notice until DeviantART notified me saying

"HEY.  YOU'RE SUB EXPIRES SOON.  GOT GET SOME MORE IF YOU WANT YOUR PAGE TO BE NOT UGLY."


And personally, I quite like my page.  Black, white, and space.

_{seriously, what's not to like.}

So I'll be uploading some "slight emergency" adopts (both old and new adopts ;D ), so I have a little cushion of points since dA decided it'd be cool to get rid of the 3-month option.  

ughhhhh.

Also, I may be leaving on either the 17th or the 20th to take a trip down to Florida to see my friends and Devin soon, so my time here may decrease when I'm there.  As such, I'm going to try and finish up some of these journal commissions before I head down there, so I may take multiple at one time, and try to see if I can do them one after the other.

Also, not that many of YOU actually follow it, but my main Revenant Rhapsody Facebook account has been deactivated.  I didn't update it a lot and so it just became a wasted account.
However, I decided to merge my personal Facebook with my "RevenantxRhapsody" account.  (Which is probably a TERRIBLE idea, but whatever.)  If you wish to friend me, note me and I'll give you the link to my profile.

Anyway, I think that's it.  Everyone enjoy the day!

~Rev.

I've been thinking about it a lot, and I don't use a LOT of my OCs.  And I hate myself for it because I love them so much.

But I really couldn't sell them at all.  Seriously.  They're all so precious to me.  

I was going through them, and I really don't use these guys so often:

-Rev _{(which is ironic)}
-Elliot
-Dirge
-Cross
-Shiro
-Enigma
-Celosia
-_{many many many others, but y'know whatever.}

I also don't use some of the designs that I've adopted or traded for, so I feel bad about that too.  ;-;  I don't think I don't because I get overwhelmed on who I should draw since I have so many OCs, so when I don't know, I draw something else entirely until I know, and THUS PROCRASTINATION.

So I don't really know what to do?  What do you guys do when you have too many OCs, and you REALLY don't want to sell them?  ;-;  

Also, I'm thinking about redesigning Rev entirely, I'm not sure I like her design anymore.  :/

But please help, I don't know if I should "discontinue" the characters themselves or just...I don't know.  :c

Help please, help, what do you do when you're in this situation?  ;A;

~Rev.

Yeah, so the last commissioner on my previous list hasn't responded in 2 days, so I usually take anything past 48 hours as a nod to continue on my merry way, SO THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.

And here I am, finally on commission list 2.

LIST OF CURRENT COMMISSIONERS:

1. =Mikufresa
2. *AuraGhost
3. =DesmodiaDesigns
4. ~Shadow-Guardian0
5. ~Zrobyt
6. *Lieutenant-Calla
7. ~FluffyMonstrosity
8. =PandaTJ

If anyone on this list has changed their mind about a commission, please comment below telling me so.  It'll free up a space.

Anyway, yeah, there are 3 spots left.  Only ask for a commission if you have points, obviously.  (I still need to talk to Devin about the Paypal thing dammit, uuuggghhhh;;; )

This list works the same as the last list:  I note you with questions once I reach your name on the list, you answer them, I give you a price, you pay half up front, I do your commission, give you a preview of it, you pay the last half, then I give you the code.  Pretty simple.  

If you don't know the questions, they're here.  This is also the information about the commissions, so pick what you want in advance so you aren't like "OH, IM SO SURPRISED I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAANNNTT".  Also, PLEASE read the description.  Especially the edits.  It saves me time, it saves you points, and everyone's happy in the end woooo.

So yeah.  First come, first serve I guess.  3 spots left, come and get 'em!

~Rev.

I've already put up people on the second list, which has filled up pretty quickly, but I'm going to tell you all right now that once I'm done with that list, you will not see a journal commission from me in like 3 billion years.

They're way too time consuming, I don't feel like doing them half the time because of it, I miss spending time with my family, and it's been putting me in a rather sour mood, so--

yeah.

Also, an update with them:  NO MORE LEFT-ALIGN TEXT BOXES.  

WANNA KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE THE SCROLL BAR COVERS UP YOUR PICTURE.  AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT BECAUSE IT LOOKS BAD.

SO FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT WERE HOPING FOR ONE, DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP BECAUSE IT AIN' HAPPENIN'.

Also, it makes me cry because I have to mess with the code a LOT to do it.  (And by a lot, I mean I have to keep punching in values UNTIL I GET IT RIGHT, AND PERSONALLY, POINTS AREN'T WORTH THAT KIND OF STRESS AND AGGRAVATION.)

_{I swear, Devin, I need your Paypal, so I can't take real money because then it would make me feel like I'm actually getting paid.}

Points are great and all, but if you don't want anything from the dA shop, they're really just a bunch of pixels.

Sorry for exploding about this, guys, I know I had originally had the left-aligned option on there, and I'm pretty much complaining about it, but it sucks because when I think I can do it and it actually doesn't work, it's a pain.  

So once I'm done with this next list, I may never really do journal commishes again. I may take one or two, but not like...fucking 20 at a time.

If you think I'm kidding, I'm not.  I had 18 to do a few weeks ago.  Now it's finally down to 9.

_{I've been in kind of a bad mood lately, mostly because my friends are being assholes, and friends being like fucking weird and debbie downers.  I swear, Devin and LadyNecro are the only people that keep me sane.}

I wish I could like dump everyone as my friend except them.  Wow.

~Rev.

because

I'm literally about to upload a TON of traditional doodles.


Some of which I may make refs into and sell them or something.  

Anyway yeah, prepare yourselves, because there's a lot.  

ALSO A BAD ANIMATION I DID.  

Yeah, wooooo

~Rev.

*falls onto deviantART ungracefully and sensually whispers to everyone while petting their hair*


_{i have arrived.}


I have so much shit to talk about and show you guys and not enough time to do it.

BUT HERE'S THE RUNDOWN.

1. Basically, being without internet is sad and makes me sit outside and stare at birds for long hours.
2. Funerals and calling hours are depressing, but soon turn into some kind of dumbed-down family reunion.
3. Caporaletti's Pizza and Mr. Hero are the best places ever.
4. Mausoleums reek of cinnamon.  
5. Kassi/LadyNecro is the best person on the face of the whole damned planet because she sent me this really sweet and uplifting message and she's my best friend and I love her, she makes me a happy camper.

Okay.  That was pretty much the last 3 days.

NOW YER ALL CAUGHT UP.  


I literally just got back about an hour ago, and after a much needed shower and hopefully a sandwich to tide over my grumbling tummy, I'm going to enjoy two brand new video games I got by myself and just chill out for the rest of the day because long car rides make me upset.

_{run-on sentences wheeeeee}

I have sketches to show you guys, most of which are demons and me fangirling over SOMEONE'S GREAT AND HANDSOME CHARACTERS, BUT I'M NOT NAMING ANY NAMES.  

To my commissioners:  I'll be back to work hopefully tomorrow, and then that should end my current list.  If I don't decide to start on the next list immediately, it'll be about a week before I start the next one.

To the few people who left comments and faves on my work:  THANKS, I APPRECIATE IT, I LOVE YOU.

To my watchers and/or the people that actually care about me:  I love you, I'm back, come and hug me you precious bbys.

_{time for sandwiches.}

~Rev.

Unfortunately, one of my family members passed away not so long ago, so I'm going to be attending a funeral within the near future.  My great Grandmother, who lived to be 89.  She was quite the stubborn woman, hehe...

Anyway, I'm not sure when the funeral will be, I just wanted to let everyone know that I would be gone in the relatively near future.  

I'm going to tell everyone now, my family and my life are infinitely more important than my art, as is to be expected.  Obviously, I will not be working on commissions or anything, probably not for the next few weeks at most.  If you ask when I'll be done with commissions, I will not respond to you.  

Yeah, that's it.  Just wanted to let everyone know.  I'll be checking on and off for the next few days, but then I'll be offline for a bit.  

Thank your for reading and understanding.

~Rev.

Now my journal skin has Devin on it too because I love him~  uvu  <33  And he wanted me to put him on it, so here he is.  <3

I don't even care if you guys are annoyed with it either.

That's pretty much it.  

Also PLEASE TAKE THESE THINGS OFF MY HANDS, GUH.

OFFER POINTS, I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH, JUST PLEASE, TAKE THEM.

Spiked Dog Creature:  [link]

Unnamed Species + Ref:  [link] & [link]

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THEM WHEN YOU GET THEM, BUT PLEASE HELP ME, AHHH.  


Thank you.  ;-;  

~Rev.

Cleaning out my folders on my computer, and I found these guys that were collecting dust.  I did want to keep them at some point, but now I want to see them go to good homes.

These are all pretty old, and the drawings I did for them are too, so--THEY SUCK, HAHAHA;;;

They are being sold for the same price that I bought them as.  The art trades are being sold as I feel is fair.  When I give you the okay, you can send the points and they're yours!  uvu

Okay, here goes.


Faceless Guardian Leo, Giver of Light (Sold to ):  [link]

5-Tailed Kitsune + Ref (Sold to ): [link] & [link]

Hellhound (Sold to ):  [link]

3-eyed Creature (Sold to ):  [link]


REMAINING ONES:

Spiked Dog Creature (Traded, now selling for 50 ):  [link]

Unnamed Species + Ref (Traded, now selling for 200 ):  [link] & [link]

Once you buy the character, you may save these images for future references, but do NOT upload them into your gallery.  The references I made, however, can be uploaded into your gallery, but do NOT remove my username from the credits.

Yeah, please take these guys off my hands, I want them to go to good homes of people who may use them.  ;-;

Thank you!  <3

~Rev.

but thank you guys,

seriously.

I was pretty upset last night because I had talked to a few people yesterday, and they all mentioned something about wanting me to do this, and wanting me to do that

which made me feel like I couldn't do it BECAUSE of those restrictions I mentioned in the previous journal

and---

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DID TALK TO ME YESTERDAY, AND WHO ARE READING THIS JOURNAL, I CAN'T ALWAYS DO THE THINGS I/YOU WANT.  IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

I can't be in two places at once, either.

The only reason I made a whole huge thing about it was because I feel like I SHOULD be in a better/more stable/independent state in my life, and since I'm not, it made me self-conscious, and I pretty much started comparing myself to people, and---

It obviously got out of hand.  

And I don't normally gush, but the responses I got from you guys made me feel a lot better.  Reading your stories and reaching your hand out to help made me feel a lot better.  So thank you all, I would have answered you all individually, but to be honest, I'm really not in the mood to repeat myself, so this journal was made!

With that, I might take a break from art, or if I don't, I'll be drawing stuff for me.  

And I finished my exam and got an A, wooooo!

yeah, im just gonna go sleep the rest of the day I think.  I'm done with emotions for the next week.  :I

Thank you again, to the people who have known me since Flipnote, to the people who have recently watched me and decided to lend a hand even though you've not known me for long, to the people who took the time to write your thoughts and stories onto a comment, and to my boyfriend who didn't sugarcoat anything at all and became brutally honest and verbally kicked my ass.

I've never met any of you, (with the exception of Devin, of course), and I don't know many of your names or what you look like, but you ended up becoming better friends than a lot of my "real life" ones.

Your support really meant a lot.

~Rev.

Yeah, uh,

I'm pretty sad right now.

Because I'm finally realizing how pathetic I really am.  Like, it's uh---

It's bad.  I'm bad.  

I really don't like myself.  

And before I get a bunch of "You just want attention" comments and "you're being over-dramatic" comments, I'm really not.  I just want someone to read this and maybe help me?  I want advice from another human being who isn't my family or a friend I know outside of the internet, someone who isn't going to sugarcoat anything for me who might actually help me better myself.

And this is long, so beware.  :c

I've felt like I've been stuck in this constant rut for years; letting my parents drag me along with them because they want to guide me as far as they can while they can still monitor me, sewing seeds of wisdom in my consciousness before they release me out on my own.  I have always been very sheltered.  Because of that, I'm more immature in some respects due to being so "guarded" for my whole life.  I'm really sensitive and defensive when critiqued on my actions or beliefs, and I sometimes let my mouth do the talking before my better judgement, and it usually puts me in a bad situation.  I'm very flawed in many ways, and I often learn the hard way before learning my lesson.  

Hell, I'm fucking afraid of driving.  The thought of being inside a massive, heavy car with countless other people around me who may not be conscious to their driving, knowing I could die any moment or screw up somehow and cause my family large sums of money terrifies me.  I can't drive.  It physically frightens me.  I panic.

I feel like a child stuck in this adult body.  I feel like I'm on pause while everyone else is on fast forward, and I feel like I'm trapped right where I am because my paranoia gets the better of me and doesn't let me venture out of my comfort zone at all.

I do the same boring routine every day.  I've never had a real job, (the only jobs I did were for family, but those really aren't jobs in my book), and I can't get one because I'm in two states back and forth all the time.  I've never had to pay bills, or do taxes.  I have no life experience.  And that terrifies me.

As old as I am, I'm no where near ready for what I need in life.  I don't even know what college I want to get into next semester.  

And for the past few months, I've been hearing this little voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough, and that I'm not pretty, or smart, or that I'm disgusting.  I woke up crying in the middle of the night once because I had a dream where these voices were echoing in my head, telling me everything I did was a sin, that I'll lose everything I care about.  Prior to that night, I had a dream where my boyfriend cheated on me, and left me, followed by those same voices telling me "There are so many others that can make him so much happier."

Losing him really scares me.  We live in two separate states, and since I can't fucking drive because I'm a pussy, and my parents want to keep me under their thumb, I can't drive or fly down to see him.  I feel like with every passing day, he becomes more impatient on waiting for me.  And I want to study to work in Game Art or something, and he's studying to become and Engineer, and I'm going to be studying here, and he's going to be there...It's just going to be so difficult.  
I don't tell him a lot of things like this because I'm afraid of what he'd say or if he'd sugarcoat his words.  He's probably going to stumble upon this and read this since he stalks my page, so I'm sure I'll be getting a stern "Tell me these things no matter what" later.  But I feel better venting on something that doesn't talk back because...I really can't stand being judged.  Because being judged by people also scares me.

I REALLY AM PARANOID, I SWEAR, EVERYTHING SCARES ME.

Everything.  


I just feel so stuck in my life, I feel like people look down on me for my lack of experience, while they have homes, spouses, jobs, LISCENSES.  

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm scared, I'm so scared...

And I feel like if I ask for help, no one will understand me.


Is this what depression feels like?  Like ACTUAL depression?

I don't know.

I'm crying really hard, I should probably stop.  

I literally poured out my heart and worst fears ever onto this, so uh---


If you read the whole thing, wow.  Sorry for wasting your time when you could have been doing something constructive.

i cant believe im letting you guys read this, i have to be insane


oh god, im so pathetic, just stop, lindsay, stop.

I will not be on for the next few days, I'm going to be studying for my second exam, (I'm assuming it's the final one, but it doesn't say), and I'm going to try and cut myself off from dA whilst doing so.

I say try because dA is really addicting and I CAN'T STOP DRAWING, JBAJHSBDHJBGFJ;;;

This should be the end of my Art Appreciation class once this is all said and done, but I'm debating doing a summer math course so I can get it out of the way.

_{Except I hate math and I don't want classes during my summeeeerrrrr.  ;-;}

I wanted to tell everyone that because that obviously would restrict my time on here, but there's no word on that yet.


Anyway, since I'll be busy with this exam, there will be a slight hold on commissions, but only for a few days.  Thanks to those of you who have patiently waited for me, and to those of you that still are!  You make my commission work a LOT less stressful.  :'D

The exam itself is on Tuesday, but I need all the time I can take to study since there are more dates and names than I care to think about.  

Keep your eyes open for more animated pixel art, Implet adoptables, Daruma project stuff, and (hopefully) a fursona.  And commissions, too, of course.  ;-;

It's 2 am, and I need to go to bed.  I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick again to top all this off.




Note that I just finished a couple of skins though, so with exception to uploading those, I won't be on.  

Thank you for reading, and I look forward to seeing you in the next few days!  

~Rev.

Several, actually.

One was were there was a completely different world just underneath the Earth's crust, and it was called Gaia, and a bunch of angels lived there.  And they got to our world by using mirrors, and they had pretty wings and stuff.  And there was this guy that reminded me of Dr. Eggman from the Sonic games, and he wanted to take over Gaia and turn it into this barren wasteland.

And then I had a dream where I was in my Daruma project.  And I met all my characters.  And I was like fangirling over them, and I remember saying "Ahhhh, I made all you guys, you're all so cute, I'm your mommy~"

And then I had a dream about working on my journal commissions.


How funny is that?

I do journal commissions so much, they've leaked from the real world into my dreams.


I'd kill to have a dream that isn't interrupted by people calling the house phone, though.  

That'd be super nice.  

I dunno, just thought I'd share.  |D


The current list of journal commissions is almost done!  ;v;  4 more people to go!  

And then I'm probably going to try and upload the refs for my Daruma bbys.  

Because I love them, and I want you guys to love them too.

Please.


~Rev.